Last night witnessed a spectacular pirate party for the most totally rad 9 year-old I've ever had the privilege to live beneath, complete with gold doubloons, hand-crafted pirate flags/plastic plates, and fish sticks. Wish I had pictures, cause a live shark bit the host's left leg off. Guess you'll just have to believe me.
It's sad to think that birthdays will never be that awesome ever again. I think they really start going downhill in sheer awesomeness after about 13 (with another spike at 21). If science could figure out a way to harness the energy of a group of 9 year-olds in a present-opening frenzy we could finally break our dependence on hamster wheels. Little known fact: hamster wheel emissions are the leading cause of unsatisfactory math scores in American schools.
Here, I arranged some pixels for you:
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